Before I drag this once fine blog down into the bowels of tabloid titillation, I want to make one thing clear: aside from a short term fascination with America's Top Model when my daughters were much, much younger, our family has never been a fan of reality television.
Some may find it hard to believe, but we've never watched one complete episode of Survivor, Big Brother, Top Chef, Extreme Home Makeover – even American Idol.
So imagine my dismay when my middle daughter, 16-year old Sophie, upon returning from a lunch date with friends at Johnny Rockets at the Short Hills Mall, excitedly reported a Snooki sighting.
Although I have never seen Jersey Shore, I have, much to my chagrin, seen Snooki. On the Web, in magazines, in the paper, on the news. Somehow, this no-talent celebrity bimbo has the media following her every move, brawl and arrest.
Now she has my daughter and friends following her at a mall.
"Are you sure it was Snooki?" I asked, thinking it probably wasn't even her. Celebrity sightings are pretty common at the Short Hills Mall. I'm fairly certain that Celine Dion was once ahead of me in line at the Verizon Store.
"It was definitely her," Sophie responded. "My friend follows her on Twitter. We checked Snooki's tweets and she said she was shopping at a mall in New Jersey!"
This brought up so many questions my head was spinning:
Why do people even follow a no-talent like Snooki on Twitter?
Why was this no-talent tweeting to her followers that she's at the mall?
Why was my daughter, who's an ardent vegan, at Johnny Rockets?
I'm so confused.
Maybe I should tweet Snooki for her infinite wisdom.